Money and Friends

Money is an emotionally charged subject matter. It’s impossible to keep your emotions

out of your money because it’s human nature to get scared, excited, worried, jealous

and all of the other feels.

This is why money is almost always viewed on a relative basis for comparison

purposes. Rarely do people look at their absolute level of income, net worth or assets.

You compare yourself to others. How rich are you relative to your peers, co-workers or

strangers on the Internet?

And you certainly compare your money situation to that of your friends. It’s impossible to

avoid.

Did you see the vacation they took?

How can they afford that house?

How much money do you think they make?

When it comes to money you invariably compare yourself to people who are richer than

you are.

Just 1.5% of the global population is made up of millionaires. More than 80% of the

adult population around the world is worth less than $100,000. Four out of every ten

adults on Earth have a net worth of $10,000 or less.

If you’re worth six or seven figures you are richer than the majority of the human

population.

Do you think the lucky people in the 1.5% millionaire population compare themselves

against the other 98.5%? Of course not!

If you have $1 million, you’re jealous of the person with $5 million. If you have $5 million

you envy the person with $10 million and on and on it goes. This line of thinking is good

for humanity in that it keeps us striving to get better, but it can wreak havoc on your

psyche if you allow it to consume your thoughts.

There will always be people who are richer, smarter and better looking than you are.

That’s just life.

But it’s exceedingly difficult to deal with the money equation when it comes to your

friends.

There was an old Friends episode that nailed this dynamic perfectly. Ross, Monica and

Chandler made more money than Joey, Phoebe and Rachel which caused some strife

in the friendship circle:

Video Link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYb9jnt2cv4&t=5s

People who have more money don’t think about it nearly as much as the people who

have less money.

Things become even more amplified when there are kids involved. Kids are expensive.

As a parent, you want to do everything you can to give them the best life possible.

Sometimes that means spending more money on them to the detriment of your own

lifestyle.

But some people can afford to spend on their children and still live comfortable lives for

themselves. Money might not make you whole in terms of contentment, but it can make

you more comfortable and lower your stress levels.

That stings when you’re on the outside looking in.

These feelings will always persist because emotions are what make us human. But

there are some things to consider when dealing with friendship-money problems:

You don’t know much debt it takes to fund their lifestyle. Sure, some people really

do have more money, but others are in debt up to their eyeballs to keep up the facade

of a luxurious lifestyle.

You don’t know how much they’re saving. I try not to judge but I can’t help myself

when it comes to finances.

When I see a person driving an $80k truck or SUV I often think: I wonder if they maxed

out their 401k or made 529 contributions this year?

While it’s easy to see how much money someone spends it’s not widely known how

much people save, because saving is a lack of spending.

You can’t see your friend’s brokerage or retirement account statements as easily as

their boats, vehicles and houses.

You don’t know how much stress is involved in the money they make. I know

plenty of people who make a lot of money but their job has a lot of baggage.

They work long hours, don’t see their family very much and are always stressed out.

A high income can make you more comfortable but often comes at a cost.

Money is a taboo subject so I’m not sure how many friends are going out of their way to

talk about this subject in a more meaningful way.

It is important to remember, however, that other people’s lives are not always what they

seem from the outside.

Your friends, with more or less money than you, often have more money worries

than you know.

The main thing is to treat them how you would want to be treated and don't look with a judgmental eye. Easier said than done, but it gets easier over time the more you think about it, and the friendships become richer (no pun intended).